Spouse’s High School Reunion Survival Guide

How to survive your wife’s ten-year high school reunion:

1. The Buddy System: Bring a Friend

Don’t attend the function unless there is at least one other spouse there whom you have previously met and enjoy talking to. (Thank you, Dave. Thank you, Dave. Thank you, Dave!)

2. Superiority Complex: Have the Hottest Wife in the Room

If possible, do what I did: arrive with the hottest women at the party. Sara and her friend Eileen were the most gorgeous women in the room. That thought provided a surprising amount of satisfaction each time they left me alone to go catch up with some old friends. (Also, stating here that Sara and Eileen are hotties gets me out of any trouble I may or may not be in for allegedly flirting with certain fair members of the Tantasqua High School Class of ‘94. )

3. Safety in Numbers: Bond With the Other Spouses

They feel your pain. Lean on them.

4. “An Idle Mind:” Stay Amused

In lieu of getting drunk, consider playing silly games with the people you meet. For example: Dave and I started asking people to guess which one of us belonged to Sara and which one to Eileen. And to raise the stakes, we told them before they guessed that we each vowed to go home with whichever wife they paired us. (Ours was an empty threat, but for more excitement, you can actually follow through on it.)

5. Just Say Yes: Let Her Dress You

Tonight, leave your fashion choices to her. She wants to show you off, so it’s more important that you look good in her eyes than in anyone else’s. (Except maybe for that cutie in the pink sweater. But there’s always the 20th reunion for that…)

This entry was posted by Ron on Tuesday, November 29^th, 2005 and is filed under Says Me. Use this RSS 2.0 feed to follow responses to this entry. You can leave a response below, or trackback from your own site.

7 Responses to “Spouse’s High School Reunion Survival Guide” [Leave yours »]

November 29^th, 2005 at 10:09 am

Irina [subscribed to comments] said:

Lovely post.. Very entertaining. Will make Dimitri read it before going to my High School Reunion. I doubt he’ll want to go to his.

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November 29^th, 2005 at 10:45 am

Dimitri said:

I had my high school reunion at our wedding. It so happens that the only people I keep in touch with from high school are girls… So it may be hard for you to make people play the guessing game Or not…

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November 29^th, 2005 at 11:03 am

Irina [subscribed to comments] said:

Wow! I didn’t know you actually check Ron’s blog during work.. Apparently, they are not keeping you busy enough on Wall Street.

P.S. Your high school reunion consisted of 2 PEOPLE? That’s a pretty pathetic reunion if you ask me.

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November 30^th, 2005 at 9:31 am

Ron [author of post] said:

Irina said:

P.S. Your high school reunion consisted of 2 PEOPLE? That’s a pretty pathetic reunion if you ask me.

that’s not pathetic–it’s brilliant! i wish sara’s reunion had consisted of just 2 girls.

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December 2^nd, 2005 at 1:17 pm

KG [subscribed to comments] said:

I have witnessed the horror of dressing choices you have made over the past 5 years. Who can blame Sara wanting to dress you for this occasion.

People in NYC office still refer to you as the guy from New Jersey who showed up in Octoberfest party with Red Pants and Orange Shirt. (Ohh I am sorry it is not orange, it is salmon)

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December 2^nd, 2005 at 1:23 pm

Ron [author of post] said:

dude, what ever happened to your yellow sneakers?

p.s., yes! it is salmon!

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August 8^th, 2006 at 5:38 pm

Melissa [subscribed to comments] said:

you guys are funny

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