It’s funny. I’ve recently been told—by more than one person—that Sara and I are “brave” for planning to deliver our baby at home. This from people who are educated, intelligent and have my respect. And yet, they couldn’t have picked a worse way to characterize the decision. What’s going on here? Read on, and then [...]
In decreasing order of preference, I’d like my fellow citizens to be:
I want to talk to you about password security. Actually, that’s a lie. I don’t want to talk about it at all. But I have to–someone has to. I’ve had two recent problems with password security, both of them shamefully avoidable. Warning: I’ll be discussing how to store secure passwords on a website (or in [...]
Some things I don’t get: Why spam is effective (i.e., who is buying that cheap Viagra, paying for those university diplomas, applying for “100% guaranteed” mortgages, etc.?) Why people ask for (or tolerate) ice cubes in their water Modern art I’ll tackle the first two another time. This weekend I went to the Museum of [...]
How to survive your wife’s ten-year high school reunion: 1. The Buddy System: Bring a Friend Don’t attend the function unless there is at least one other spouse there whom you have previously met and enjoy talking to. (Thank you, Dave. Thank you, Dave. Thank you, Dave!) 2. Superiority Complex: Have the Hottest Wife in [...]
I keep hearing people complain about how expensive gas has become. More significantly, I’ve heard several news programs report that “thousands of motorists” are choosing not to travel this holiday weekend, due to those high prices. I don’t get it. Are Americans mathematically challenged or something? (Oh, wait, I forgot–we are!) Here’s a little puzzle [...]
*** UPDATE: I thought this post would ruffle a lot of feathers, but so far, nobody has spoken up. Do y’all agree with everything I said in here? Or are you just being polite? *** People are sheep. Proof is all around us. The claim: Sheep blindly follow their leader without thinking about where he’s [...]
Mawidge. Mawidge is a dweam wiffin a dweam. — Archdean, The Princess Bride ♥ My eight-month anniversary is this week. And let me tell you: eight months of marriage makes a man take stock of his life. Now, those of you who know me know that it’s in my nature to complain. I’m exceptionally good [...]
I love observing people. Take, for example, the other day. I was standing in the checkout line in one of my favorite places on earth–Wegman’s, when I caught myself spying on the other customers in line, surreptitiously eying their groceries as they paraded down the conveyor belt to be scanned. Standing there, I realized two [...]
A birthday buddy of mine recently told me that she gets a chuckle out of the abundantly misused “quotation mark.” That reminded me of my lunch from Tuesday of this week. My Coworkers and I went to a Mongolian barbecue place near the office, and while standing before the raw ingredient buffet, we noticed that [...]
For those who have been asking about my second traffic ticket, here’s an update. My wonderful attorney, Jeffrey Weinstein, negotiated the second ticket down to a zero-point offense. That makes a grand total of 8 points that he has made disappear. Mind you, it was still painfully expensive (considering the hefty fines, surcharges and attorney [...]
What’s the deal with… hair salons? I mean, could they possibly pick cheesier names? Today we drove past “Hair We Are.” Hair (get it? get it?? ) are some others that we’ve seen: The Hairport The Hair Force A Cut Above Hair At Last Shear Magic, Shear Elegance, etc. Hairabouts The Best Little Hair House
We’ve already established that Hotmail sucks. But, as if Microsoft didn’t want to leave any shadow of a doubt, this is what I saw when I tried to log in earlier today:
“I feel the need. The need… for speed.” — Maverick & Goose, “Top Gun” “55 is for suckers.” — Ron Rothman “Driver’s license and registration, please.” — Officer Goodfriend, to Ron Rothman, December, 2004 “Driver’s license and registration, please.” — Officer LaSalle, to Ron Rothman, April, 2005 The Unrepentant Criminal Mind I’m an efficiency freak. [...]
